I am back
In the past, I've never imagined I'd experience a "no-tear-cry". Sorry, bad English here. What I'm trying to say is 哭不出來. Oh come on, friends who know me recognize that I'm an absolutely "water-made" girl. If the first question is "Mindy cannot drop a tear?" Then the second question must be "Su ng su wa ah?" ("Are you sure?")
Well, yes! This is certainly not a thing to be proud of, cos I'm perfectly aware that I'm the kind of person that needs to air out my feelings, thanks to my dear mum reminding me all the time about how many ppl jump down from buildings because they keep all the things to themselves. and it annoys me when ppl think that I'm normal or fine. You see, if you break into tears, they will come over and ask you what happened. And if you don't, they will still show concern, but by avoiding to speak to you (cos I look awfully scary when I'm depressed? I don't know.)
The next thing you wanna know would probably be "Oh Mindy what makes you change your behaviour?" I would say, "my friends, because you're irrelevant..." Don't frown, what I mean is, my problem is irrelevant to you... does it sound better? I know it doesn't... okay, the gist is I cannot drop tears in front of a person if I knew he or she cannot draw connections to what I'm upset about. Or even if the person does not think that the problem IS a problem. And, as years go by, the common problems that ppl can associate with will not make me cry anymore, and the things that really bother me are so uncommon that my friends would not understand, or even, could not take my stand. It's sad, really really sad, when you find nobody's on your side. It's not that they don't want to, they just cannot feel the same way as I do. What could I say? Nobody should be blamed of.
Anyway, the fact that I can go to my xanga and type an entry means that I AM FINE. Truly, ever since my mum has removed that bad luck black dress from the closet she said we're gonna be fine. YES, I AM DAMN SURE. THINGS ARE GONNA BE FINE. (ACTUALLY THINGS HAVE BEEN TURNING OUT FINE ALREADY.)
They asked what's the thing that I treasure most in New Zealand. The first thing that came to my mind, are not all the valuable experiences and things that I learn, but, friendship. I was referring to my friendship to you... Yes, my heartfelt thanks to Amy and Jingwei. Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone. Thanks for reassuring me. Thanks for being there for me. Thanks for being the ppl that I can drop tears in front of. Thanks for everything. I love you.
Well, yes! This is certainly not a thing to be proud of, cos I'm perfectly aware that I'm the kind of person that needs to air out my feelings, thanks to my dear mum reminding me all the time about how many ppl jump down from buildings because they keep all the things to themselves. and it annoys me when ppl think that I'm normal or fine. You see, if you break into tears, they will come over and ask you what happened. And if you don't, they will still show concern, but by avoiding to speak to you (cos I look awfully scary when I'm depressed? I don't know.)
The next thing you wanna know would probably be "Oh Mindy what makes you change your behaviour?" I would say, "my friends, because you're irrelevant..." Don't frown, what I mean is, my problem is irrelevant to you... does it sound better? I know it doesn't... okay, the gist is I cannot drop tears in front of a person if I knew he or she cannot draw connections to what I'm upset about. Or even if the person does not think that the problem IS a problem. And, as years go by, the common problems that ppl can associate with will not make me cry anymore, and the things that really bother me are so uncommon that my friends would not understand, or even, could not take my stand. It's sad, really really sad, when you find nobody's on your side. It's not that they don't want to, they just cannot feel the same way as I do. What could I say? Nobody should be blamed of.
Anyway, the fact that I can go to my xanga and type an entry means that I AM FINE. Truly, ever since my mum has removed that bad luck black dress from the closet she said we're gonna be fine. YES, I AM DAMN SURE. THINGS ARE GONNA BE FINE. (ACTUALLY THINGS HAVE BEEN TURNING OUT FINE ALREADY.)
They asked what's the thing that I treasure most in New Zealand. The first thing that came to my mind, are not all the valuable experiences and things that I learn, but, friendship. I was referring to my friendship to you... Yes, my heartfelt thanks to Amy and Jingwei. Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone. Thanks for reassuring me. Thanks for being there for me. Thanks for being the ppl that I can drop tears in front of. Thanks for everything. I love you.
